As far as I can tell through exhaustive internet research, Pretzel Balls are only made by the Schultz Pretzel Company. It also seems that as a retailer, you can purchase something along the lines of an 18 lb. tub of pretzel balls. But alas, the only place I have found pretzel balls for consumer consumption is a bulk spice/grocery store in Jamesport, Mo., run by the Amish.

Pretzel balls have a nice pretzel flavor, but the real joy is in the size and texture. They are approximately a half inch in diameter, and are just a lovely size to have one or two in your mouth at a time.

When you bite into them, they make a really satisfying POP, like there’s just the right amount of air baked into them. If you are a pretzel lover, you probably know how there’s just something slightly more satisfying about the bulky pretzel rod than the regular thin pretzel twists or sticks. Pretzel balls give you the satisfaction of the pretzel rod bulk without the crumbs and mess.

Extra bonus points to pretzel balls for being the perfect size to enjoy mixed with peanut butter M&Ms. Seriously, that particular mixture? Is heaven.

The first time I had a Cadbury Flake was in Great Britain when I was 17. It was several years before I found them again, at Epcot Center on spring break my junior year of college. My friend Tracy brought me one when she went back to England in the mid-’90s, and I think she also found them at a store called Brits in Lawrence, Kan. I am pleased to report, however, that you can now pick them up at your friendly neighborhood World Market.

The Cadbury Flake is a candy bar of sorts. It’s like a round log of crumbly chocolate. If you look closely, it seems that they must make them in a similar way to how you would make chocolate curls. Pour a thin sheet of melted chocolate, then let it harden to that perfect point where it bends but doesn’t break when you run a flat blade under it. Only with a Cadbury Flake, they just push it all together so it scrunches up in a bar.

You have to be careful biting into it, because true to its name, it is rather flaky. The texture is the real star here. You take a bite and it kind of crumbles in your mouth, then it melts together on your tongue. It’s just your standard Cadbury milk chocolate, nothing earth-shattering there, but the texture is so cool that it’s worth searching them out.

Official site of the Cadbury Flake.

For years we have been disappointed by the homogenized snack machines that litter America’s schools and corporate breakrooms. Same with the grocery stores and gas stations. All have taken the easy road, offering only a few, or worse trapped themselves into one company. You might say that snacks represent the ultimate of democracy. Whatever sells, must be the most popular items, and should continue to be restocked. Right? It is our belief that the quality snack has been shoved off to the side, hidden in the back of the grocery store shelves, taken off the endcaps. And dreadfully, segregated to the invisible, undersold, new age nutrition section. We now proclaim that the hunt has begun. If something isn’t done right, you have to do it yourself.

Finding the right snack is a challenge. We have compiled a experts in the areas of texture, color, taste and ability to run threatenly fast. In short, we are the predators who will bring back the snack.